Of Black Leather and My Boyfriend
by Stevie Malfoy
Summary: Ever wondered what a day in the life of Draco Malfoy would be like? Black leather and his boyfriend pretty much sum it all up! But if that's not detailed enough for you, add in a little vanity, a lot of witty comments, and some unabashed snogging and you


"Of Black Leather and My Boyfriend" 5:55 a.m. Damn the fact I am just so perfectly and sexily arrogant. While most "normal" people are still sleeping, I, Draco Malfoy, have to wake up at 5:55 a.m. in order to start my daily "routine" not to mention the fact, that for unspecified reasons relating to a certain emerald eyed boy, I only got to sleep a few hours ago. While most people believe I just have the natural Malfoy charm, we Malfoy's fails to specify that the beauty we all possess is...well... fine! It's a secret formula my great-great-great-great grandfather, Nigel Malfoy, created which includes thirteen time consuming yet very helpful steps in order to ensure and enhance our already prevalent and ungodly natural beauty... okay, it's the closest thing you can get to the fountain of youth, with a little hair gel on the side! But we Malfoy's stop at nothing to look damn sexy! 7:05 a.m. I emerge from the dungeon bathroom smelling like a bed of rose and looking like, well, the incredibly sinful sex god that I am! Now off to breakfast. Let's see...1. Puff up chest, not that it isn't already buff enough... 2. Stroll in a self-aggrandizing way down the corridors 3. Make as many first years lives a living hell and insult as many people as I can without exhausting myself in the few minutes it takes me to reach the great hall. Ah, here we are. Dammed it, I only manage to make seven people either drop their books, trip, spill a bottle of ink, or insult them till they cried this morning though I did manage to successfully make ten people either faint, gasp and drool, babble incoherently, or other wise grovel at my feet simply by walking past them and doing the oh-so-perfected "Malfoy Walk-Flip hair-Smile wickedly" maneuver...never known to fail! 7:15 a.m. The usual morning routine: â¢ Turn down Pansy Parkinson ever so present date invitation which for some reason she thinks I will one day wake up straight and graciously accept her and not turn her down like usual. â¢ Listen to Crabbe and Goyle fight, or to those less used to listening to them growl and incomprehensibly blabber on, about some petty and trivial matter. It really is quite amusing how stupid two human beings can actually be. â¢ Fend off a few sleep-deprived second years from the coffee decanter by threatening to jam Bertie Bott's Beans up their snotty little noses if they don't move...they think they are sleep-deprived...â¢ Flip through the Daily Prophet while absent mindedly nibbling a piece of toast and happen to over hear a group of girls talking about what they would "do" to me if they had the chance...way to much information!â¢ While Crabbe and Goyle are still fighting I manage to steal a glace at the "Oh Godly Perfect Wonder Boy". How does he do it? That little smile like a five year old on Christmas, that stupid hair that never lays flat, that little snort-thing he does when he laughs too hard, they all just make you what to- well- snog the lips right off of him! Maybe his great-great-great-great grandfather had a secret method...I'll be sure to ask him later. Or maybe it's just because he's St. Harry Perfect Potter... damn I'm lucky! 7:55 a.m. Off to these god forsaken torture chambers they call class...at least I made a small child cry by levitating his pet toad 10 feat in the air...ever so amusing. Oh, what's on the schedule for today? Double potions with Gryffindors first; great I get to see Harry for two hours and I also get to see Harry tortured for two hours. Hey, although I do love him, he's so damn sexy when he's mad! Oh, and I also get treated like the little egotistical bastard I deserve in this class...I am so happy my father is so "acquainted" with Snape, or else my life would be living hell. But no, instead I'm living the good life today, baby! Harry's so cute when he is trying to concentrate, I don't see how he manages to screw up everytime! Maybe one day I will have to "tutor" him in potions...sounds like a grand idea if you ask me. Okay, so far I have managed to talk Crabbe and Goyle through every step of the potion and not had to move a muscle AND received top marks on the potion I didn't have to make, oh happy day! If getting ready in the morning was only this easy... 9:03 a.m. Next I have to go to DADA and History with Binns, no Harry, no fun...but I do manage to amuse myself by throwing balls of parchment through Binns while he is turned around and he doesn't notice, though the rest of the class does. Hahaha, it's so good to be so evil... but then again it's all in a days work! I find myself doodling on a scrap of parchment the initials "H.P. & D.M." enclosed in a heart as a first year does when they have their first crush...I now must officially seek professional help. 12:07 p.m. Lunchtime, an ever so eventful period of the day. I was contemplating letting Potter actually eat lunch with his friends today but 1. That made me look too caring, 2. I want Potty all for myself... and 3. they need to get over the fact we are dating! They are depriving me of the attention I need and deserve! Of course, Harry and I could be conjoined at the hip and I would want him to be closer to me...but still, they have to deal. I'm sure the Weasel and the Brain can find other means of entertainment....YUCK! And I thought the "ferret incident" in fourth year was traumatizing...!! But first I think I will make him beg. I know he expects me to go over there, ask him to go somewhere else for lunch, he'll play hard to get, I'll beg (and mind you, Malfoy's don't beg unless under extreme circumstances) and he'll give in, but not until he gives me that little haha-I-won-again-you-lost-again grin that makes me want to punch him and snog him all at the same time! Fuck you, Potter...actually that doesn't sound like a bad idea... I'll sit down with my lunch, make it look like I am not going to give in today, and throw the poor clueless thing off totally. Yep, he's looking over here now with that you-know-you-want-to-snog-me face, wait, it just changed to the um-yah-you-can-get-me-now smirk...next will be the Draco- Lucius-Malfoy-get-your-sexy-ass-over-here stare, yes, and there it is! He's so predictable. I'll let him win today, again, as always. I'll do my patented "sexy saunter" over there, make some crude remarks to his friends and then we will be off to the lake to...eat lunch of course! What did you think? Well, after a nice portion of fish and chips and a side order of tongue sandwiches I am ready to tackle the rest of the day...a Quidditch player needs a fully balanced diet INCLUDING 3 daily servings of hot guys, okay! 1:10 p.m. Herbology with Gryffindor's is never really a boring event. It's always fun to see Neville finally do something right, then while he's basking in his glory spatter mud all over his face, then blame it on the latest flesh- eating, deafening, venom spitting, or otherwise insane and terribly harmful plant we are dealing with today. Oh, and it's always fun to annoy the little oh-so-perfect-one by flicking gravel in his hair and watching him try to remain calm...la la la ti da...today is a good day! Now the biggest downfall of herbology...mud. Not only does it shelter some of the foulest creatures on earth it's terrible hard to get out from under your freshly trimmed and nicely manicured nails! And then Professor Sprout makes it actually sound like its fun to handle dragon manure! Oh, yes, my perfect day consists of 1. messing in mud...great (times four) grandfather Nigel would be so ashamed 2. reeking of dragon poop...I'm sorry quadri- great Nigel! I am! 3. and watching Neville actually succeed at something...and though these moments are few and far between it is enough to keep me pissed for at least thirty minutes and pelt dung at random students to vent anger, that is of course unless wonder boy decides to flash me a smile...no one can stay mad at that, and that's coming from a Malfoy! 2:15 p.m. Divination, horribly boring and thankfully the last class of the day. I am so amused how Trelawney always says I will inherit large sums of money when I am the richest little bastard around, but hey, the more the merrier! While Crabbe is supposedly trying to unravel my dreams I came up with the perfect "name" for him and Goyle: they are "sept-tards". Now, let me explain my very complex theory: if someone who is "retarded" is stupid, its means they are "tarded" twice so all normal people who are normal must just be "tards" or "tarded". Now Crabbe and Goyle go above and beyond any level of stupidity I have ever seen so they must be "sept-tarded" or "tarded seven times". Just think of it as stupidity in its most pure and undiluted form...see its simple and pure logic really! 3:17 p.m. I swear to God, that batty old woman has some sort of tranquilizers and/or other drugs in all that incense because you always walk out of her class like your on cloud nine...and that damn staircase leading out of her classroom is libel to kill you when you are in that "state". No wonder she always predicts so many deaths... Well, I have about forty-five minutes till Quidditch practice...I think I shall study in the library, and also inform a certain raven haired mop-top of my agenda, maybe he will have plans of his own... 3:55 p.m. Damn that boy! All his distractions caused me to 1. not be able to study a single school related subject...not that I had intended to study anything but every nook and cranny of his mouth anyway... and 2. made me late for practice... and I still have to change. Oh well, the team will have to understand that I had other "pressing engagements" that I had to attend to first. "Pressing engagements"..., hahah, so funny when taken literally...IT'S A PUN! Yah, that's it... woah! I don't think the affects of Divination class have fully worn off yet! Hopefully this will not impair my handling of my broom...though I can handle someone else's broom...WOAH! I need some fresh air... 6:14 p.m. Well I don't know what was more harmful to me during practice: the fact I still was dazed by the "incense" or the fact that my ever-so-perfect beau decided to show up and watch our practice. Not only was I flying like a drunken monkey, the frequent intervals I stopped to look at Wonder Boy nearly caused me to loose my life! Those damn bludgers...Not that I minded, it sort of made it into a game all its own...try and see how long you can oggle at Potter without being knocked off of your broom. While nothing beats the sensation of flying, or having Harry--never mind that, there are two BIG downfalls to Quidditch: first of all you get all icky and sweaty that requires at least an hour long shower with the company of "everyone's favorite Gryffindor" you make sure you clean every last square inch of yourself...come to think of it, it's really not all that bad. But secondly there is Blaise Zabini. Ever since that little horn-ball found out I was gay he has been chasing me like a hound on a fox's scent. Wait, that makes me a fox...I like it! Anyway, if in the locker rooms I have to hear him talk about what he would do to my "broom" (polish, wax, wash to name a few...the boy really does have a vivid imagination) again I am going to puke, honestly, the little scrawny git has nothing on my Harry! Next time I swear I am going to tell him I already have a full-service broom kit and am in no need of his assistance. Eww... 7:31 p.m. Now that I am fully bathed, thanks to a special someone, we are ready to make our grand dinner entrance. I in my black leather "how-the-hell-does-he- get-into-those" pants and Harry nicely sporting his "look-at-that-tight- arse" jeans, I think we make a splendid couple. We overhear a few girls saying how it's just so unfair that the two hottest guys are gay and it makes us giggle. We have actually come up with a schedule of what table we sit at on what days and today happens to be a Gyrffindor day. Okay, I'll have to suck it up and tell myself "it's all in the name of love". Okay, if the bushy-haired-bucked-toothed beaver doesn't stop blabbing on about something in Ancient Rune I am going to loose my temper. I think Harry notices and rubs his leg across mine...okay Malfoy, don't loose it now...breathe in...breathe out... its just so hard to be so hot and be annoyed by so many bloody inferior people and try to maintain my evil minion persona while not totally losing it, but if it makes Harry happy it's worth it... 8:22 p.m. Dinner is winding up and Harry and I make our "arrangements" for the night. It looks like good old Room 407 in the Astronomy has become officially known as "off limits" to all else after 12:30 a.m.. We say our good-byes, manage to steal a quick kiss among the hordes of leaving students and retreat to our own common rooms until later tonight. I'll probably wind up doing some homework that I have fallen behind on until 11:15 p.m. or so, because then I have to get ready all over again. And I am fully aware that I could barge into the room, smelling of a wet dog and Harry would love me just the same, but what in the world would "great to the fourth power" grandfather Nigel have to say about that?! 12:15 a.m. Well now that I am done all the homework I cannot talk my way out of and have finished primping I am ready, for my Harry awaits my arrival. Just as I am about to exit the common room and be on my very very merry way (I am humming for the love of Merlin!) when I am interrupted by a certain Slytherin whom is bound and determined to "straighten me out" so to speak. "Draco, darling, where are you off to at this time of the night?" she tries to sound seductive...hahahah! "Well, Pansy, where else would I be off to?" "Oh, well I was thinking (dangerous thing for Pansy Parkinson to do) that maybe tonight you could keep me company." "Pansy...how can I put this politely? I would rather spend tonight with a p.m.s.'ing female Hungarian Horntail dragon than to be one moment in you presence, okay?" "God dammit Draco Malfoy! You know you don't love him! You simply lust for him and don't deny it! I could love you!" "Sadly, I can't say the same for you, Pansy. I'll be off now." I make my grand exit and hear her break some large piece of furniture at my departure. For some reason her words keep ringing in my head " lust not love" but as I walk down the corridor on my way to meet him I realize that I do not simply lust for Harry Potter. And while that would be easy to do, I do not think of him constantly nor write our names in hearts because I lust for him. No, I do all that because I have done what no Malfoy has done before, I truly do love Harry James Potter, and that it that. 


End file.
